Vorthos: Radha, Warrior Princess

I know the deck's been talked about for weeks now, and I'm well aware of the fact that every monkey and his uncle's been fiddling around a mix of 75 that contains Bramblewood Paragon, Obsidian Battle-Axe, and a random assortment of warriors/elves. However, I feel the urge to blog about the deck not because it is potentially competitive, or it's damned fun to play, I do so because of it's undeniable Vorthosian nature.

Yes, a deck that could be potentially competitive, and still full of vorthosian theme-love and geeky 90s TV references.

So, to jump straight into it, take a look at the deck-skeleton bellow:

Firstly, they're all women. Secondly, they're all warrior-women. Lastly, one of them is the Heir to Keld. If you're not hearing the Xena, Warrior Princess theme right now, think of this moment as my attempt at cuing the music for you.

[Ta dada ta dad a tum tamtamm...]

So, you've got Xena in the form of Radha. That's pretty much required, as Radha would likely be the only Legendary Creature in the Deck. Also, being a heir to Keld doesn't hurt either.

Gabrielle is probably any one of the three other warrior elf hotties -- probably the Paragon. Staff weapon? Check. Odd armor? Check. Lesbo aura? Double-check.

The remaining ladies could be counted as any number of numerous blade-weilding feminine fighters in the show. You know, those scantily clad ladies that often gang up on Xena and Gabrielle at the start of the show, and yet somehow end up on their side by the end of it? I mean, the ones that are there mainly to attract audience members with testosterone.

I'd like to go through Google right now and make a card to character comparison using a "Characters of Xena" fan-site that I might find. Just for the sake of Wren's Run Vanquisher and Imperious Perfect having character analogues and all that. However, doing so will probably make me feel a bit too dirty - all that implied lesbian love and all that. So, here's a link naughty peps, knock yourselves out.

The Obsidian Battle-Axe pretty much counts as a generic Xena-verse weapon. Too bad it isn't as stupid-broken as that returning flying chakram of doom that Xena actually uses.

The Keldon Marauders that show up in some lists obviously count as Xena's flunkies, so amazingly they're still in theme. The random assortment of burn/pump spells that make their way into deck lists can be explained away by counting them as funky 90s TV special effects unique to New Zealand, so all the non-permanents are still in theme.

As for the non-elf/warriors cards that show up in deck lists so far, most of them still fall into theme. Both the Chameleon Colossus and the Taurean Mauler fit well in the Xena-verse as that particular planar existence isn't short on shapeshifting titans and magical bulls. The same could be said for the much hyped Countryside Crusher.

Basically, as competitive as the list gets, as long as Radha's still there, the deck is still essentially a souped up Vorthosian theme deck that can kick ass and take names. Funny, no?

All of that aside though, what I love most about the deck as it shows up on several MtG related forums so far is the odd choice for some to include this card:

In the right build the Elvish Handservant is only slightly slower than a 2/2 for 1 mana. For Vorthosian purposes, he counts as the bitch-slave of the warrior ladies. Going with the theme, in the Xena verse he'd probably be this guy...

...and everyone knows how surprisingly useful he was during some of the warrior princess' misadventures.