Blame The Chinese

Yep, it's FFVII for the Famicom. Why does it exist you ask? My bet is opportunistic Chinese pirates. The Triads need your monies, and they need it as bad as Edison Chen's hands.

Seriously though, responsible group is Shenzhen Nanjing Technology Co, Ltd, a company responsible for mp3 and mp4 players. Still, my spider-sense tells me that they might have something to do with M.A.SHADE Industries, you know, those guys responsible for all those 16 in 1 DVD packages that we all love.

Click the link I posted for more details. Who knows? You might find the 8-bit Cloud sprite cute and adorable.

Political Correctness in Fighting Games?

I'm starting to get a bit miffed by people complaining on the internet that the fighting-game genre has gone down the drain and has to rely on inserting massive amounts of cheesecake, mammaries, and annorexia into their female character designs in order to continue attracting audiences.

My response to the folks who say that it's all T&A nowadays is this: I present to you Bob. ...This is Bob. Bob has bitch tits.

The universe rolls a 1...

and Gary Gygax dies.

At least, he went away well. I hope he did. Newsfolk say he passed away at his home. It was probably peacefull.

Nevertheless, every he fails(/makes, depending on your perspective) his final saving throw, and everyone else gets +10 sadness.

Rest in peace Dungeon Master.

Belmont vs. Jesus

Thanks to my significant other, I recently became aware of the many lulz to be found at I-Mockery.com. If you're bored and you really need your intertube fix, trust me, this is the place to go.

If the Jesus versus Simon Belmont screenshot up there isn't enough to give you a clue as to why I'm such a fan, I'll let this link to their flash-game version of Castlevania 2 explain why.

You can also go to their games page and enjoy their many other offerings like Kill the Dog from Duck Hunt, or Kill the Old Man in Zelda, or Mario vs. Excitebike. My personal faves is A Warcraft Orc lost in Starcraft. That one's a doozy.

If flash games are too web-based for your old-school bleeding heart. I suggest you surf through their hacked ROM review pages. Each review of each hacked ROM also includes a link to download featured emulation aberration. The insanity includes a "Matrix" style version of NES timewaster Elevator Action, and a pornographic interpretation of Karateka. (sort of...)

You've been advised. Now go, waste your time.

I feel the same way about Dr. Mario

It may sound like a Rockman tribute at the start, and the engrish may be jarring, but keep watching. There's a punchline in there somewhere.

Oh, and if you want something that's a bit more immediate, then here's Rock Man doing the Rocky Star:

GURU GURU MAWARU!

School Rumble: Third Term. Booyah!

When old school fighting meets non-martial art

Not to be outdone by Street Fighter IV's new Okami inspired "paintbrush 3d" look applied to a 2D plane fighter, SNK announced to the world (via Kotaku) that their old school classic, King of Fighters XII, will be purely handrawn.

It's kinda like GGX anime-level sprites, only with a higher resolution, and an insanely higher frame-rate.