Aberrant Archive

Time to get some paint buckets.

2008-08-02T05:29:00.000-07:00

I now know what my dream room will look like.

Currently Playing: Azumanga Fighter

2008-08-01T20:18:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Fakku.net's new Doujinsoft section I now have copies of Suzumiya Haruhi no Chourantou and Azumanga Fighter. I know they're both old, but downloading them back then usually meant going through sites filled with weird malicious stuff, so thanks Fakku.

While the 3D Suzumiya is in the 3D multiplayer beat-em up format (There's an Avatar one up now I believe), I find it a bit too slow for my tastes. I'll stick to the 2D Azumanga game for now.

I'll give Suzumiya a chance once I'm done with Azumanga.

I'm looking for a decent Lucky Star doujinsoft, but alas, the quality of the current ones availale is questionable

Arc System Works never fails

2008-08-01T16:58:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's a knight with a chainsaw battling a magical bunny names Watson. I don't care what you think, Arc System Works rules character design!

The game is entitled Battle Fantasia and it should drop sometime 2009. I want it dammit.

Metacritic Taunts Me.

2008-07-21T20:08:00.000-07:00

Something Ebert said miffed me. In his review of The Dark Knight, he said this:

"Batman" isn't a comic book anymore. Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight is a haunted film that leaps beyond its origins and becomes an engrossing tragedy.It creates characters we come to care about. That's because of the performances, because of the direction, because of the writing, and because of the superlative technical quality of the entire production.
- Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

You're wrong Ebert! "Comic books" have been like The Dark Knight for a long time now. How can Nolan's film "leap beyond its origins" when The Dark Knight is the best comic book movie to emulate its source material, it's mythos, on screen?

As much as I hate to admit it, it seems that despite movies like The Dark Knight, people still think that comic books "can't be that good."

Of course, the existence of superdickery.com proves me wrong. But that's like using Homo Erectus to point out the faults of Homo Sapiens.

All in all, I can't blame Ebert. It's his opinion after all - half the world knows Adam Wests's Batman, and the Superfriends, and the other half knows The Dark Knight Returns, The Long Halloween, and The Killing Joke.

The Avatar Weekend.

2008-07-20T06:14:00.000-07:00

The torrents have been fruitful. Only a few more hours, and two more episodes to go. I had to choose between the Avatar: The Legend of Aang Finale (and an afternoon with the family) or an afternoon screening of afternoon screening of The Dark Knight.

Sorry Ledger, baby saliva always win.

A "Dante" for men?

2008-07-18T22:43:00.000-07:00

Bad ass witch bitch! (With hair-dragons, guns, gun-heels, and most importantly, glasses!)

Most important part of her character design? No uber-fun-bags. Nice to see a female character in a Japanese "action" game to have normal-sized boobies. At last, those other Japanese pervs with other odd fetishes get representation.

Check it: Bayonetta

Robin you queen!

2008-07-18T22:29:00.000-07:00

I'm a bit sad that Sony Online Entertainment is going to be responsible for DC Universe Online. SOE doesn't really have a reputable track record when it comes to MMOs, and since the Marvel/Microsoft foray into MMOs didn't really push through, this is our last chance at playing super hero in an online world other than City of Heroes.

So far it seems to follow the established MMO formula, only this time, the DCU characters are NPCs that are a little bit more active in the world, instead of just being there to dole out missions and award XP.

For example, reports on the 'tubes say that running around Gotham and causing general mayhem isn't considered wise. You might have to end up aggro-ing the Batman - something that isn't a generally wise idea.

I hope that if the gameworld is as reactive as the proponents of the game claims it is, they include ways for one to get recruited by the likes of Slade. Better yet, they should include "training" maps for those unlucky few who find green glowing power rings or odd blue scarab beetles. Wishful thinking? Probably... it's SOE afterall.

Why I now love TED

2008-07-16T21:44:00.000-07:00

"When you start looking for something you tend to find it. This wouldn't be like Simon Newcomb, the great astronomer, who wrote a mathematical proof that heavier than air flight was impossible and published it a day before the Wright brothers took off. I'm talking about people who found a pattern in nature and wrote several scientific articles and got it accepted by a large part of the scientific community before it was generally agreed that there was no such pattern, it was all just selective perception."
- Robert Anton Wilson

MTGMINTCARD.COM: Sell your MTG Cards to Hong Kong!

2008-07-16T19:56:00.000-07:00

If you're a bit out of the loop when it comes to the local common trading routes of Magic: the Gathering in your area, I might have the solution to your problem. I was browsing for things-that-shouldn't-be-there on a global auction site, when I ran into this seller: MTGMINTCARD.com.

Apparently they have a service wherein they will buy from you the cards that you have and send the equivalent dollars to your PayPal account. The condition is that they have to get the cards you shipped to them in 10 business days. Where are they located you ask? It depends on your address, or so the site says, but from where I'm located, they say they I have to send the cards to Hong Kong.

They even have a handy form, complete with prices, a drop down list, several check boxes, etc. for easy invoice creation.

Personally, this is something worth considering, or at least investigating. I'll try selling a few dollar rares first just to test the waters - it may be a scam after all. If it isn't though, then all I have to say is this: booyah!

The anime reference isn't so exciting.

2008-07-15T08:38:00.000-07:00

The Jap... er, "Empire of the Rising Sun" gets tech that you pretty much expected they would get. Let's make a list

A Valkyrie - check
A Gundam - check
A Gatchaman plane - check
An aquatic tank/siege-vehicle from Voltron (the vehicles) - check

Wow. That was pretty umn, derivative.

They better get include the damned classics. Like a Zero fighter, and the legendary Battleship Yamato.

When ICO meets Assassin's Creed...

2008-07-15T07:58:00.000-07:00

You get the latest Prince of Persia. As always, the art-direction is an optical feast, and the previewed gameplay has enough "borrowed concepts" in it to raise eyebrows.*

* The third Prince of Persia (third on the PS2) adapted some God of War context-based timed button action, and mixed it with some traditional stealth gameplay. God of War 2 in turn meshed some platforming evolutions from the PoP series into it's formula. It's a platforming tradition!

The Fallout I remember...

2008-07-15T07:22:00.000-07:00

Wasn't about the funny lines, or the isometric perspective, or even the turn-based tactics-based combat. It was about playing an RPG where decisions and interactions with the world mattered. It was a game where things you did affected people in the world. Not just several dozens of people mind you, but whole cities and towns.

It was about being of consequence.

The person in the video mentioned that in Fallout 3 you can play any type of character you wanted: sneaky, brawny, or social. I'm a bit disappointed that the four minutes of gameplay they decided to showcase involved only one of the three archetypes.

Where are the people?! What happened to social skills? Can't you even shout, or talk, or scream, at folks you run into? You know, before they spontaneously open fire at you for no apparent reason?

I mean, even the random encounters on the world map of the previous game had the thugs at least say something like "hands up," or "your money is mine," before they started gutting you with vibro-knives.

Oh well. It's only a demo after all. I'll give it more time. My main gripe still stands though: even if the game is still in the works, they should've at the very least, demoed the RP part of this post-apocalyptic RPG.

At least they got the flavor of the whole thing kinda-right. Ron Pearlman should've been in the official trailer though.

It was only a matter of time.

2008-07-15T07:10:00.000-07:00

If you're part of the Sony Defense Force, you can't really blame Squeenix. Face it, the company knows what sells in which territory.

So yeah, Final Fantasy XIII is still a PS3 exclusive... in Japan that is. In the US and in Europe it's available for the Xbox 360 as well on launch.

I wouldn't be surprised if some Squeenix exec has several characters on his copy of Song Summoner spawned from Shake Your Money Maker.

As always, guitar rifts make it sound better.

2008-07-10T05:55:00.000-07:00

Clover, how I miss thee.

2008-07-08T02:03:00.000-07:00

If the loss of a truly artistic videogame development team was enough reason for you to mourn the dissolution of Clover, then good for you. I have a much more selfish and greedy reason why I hope CAPCOM didn't decide to split them apart.

Take the sensibilities of something like Okami, and apply it to the engine that you see in the game below:

Makes you wish, don't it?

Epic Fail: I picked Elves because I thought they'd be cheap.

2008-07-08T01:32:00.000-07:00

When the news broke that Eventide's Nettle Sentinel was a 2/2 Elf Warrior for one green mana at common, somewhere deep down inside I rejoiced.

When I heard that it untapped itself when you played a green spell, I looked at my Heritage Druid based Elf deck and I rejoiced.

When I heard that there's a new green chase rare that's "in-tribe," I printed a picture of Michael J. Flores, tacked it to a cardboard box, looked for a knife, and proceeded to stab said picture with my knife. I was fueled by the murderous intent of some dark, forgotten, Summerian god.

Damn you Wizards! My wallet hates you.

Moriarty does it again.

2008-07-08T01:21:00.000-07:00

Unlike Harry Knowles, Moriarty generally tries to stay away from hyperbole or any other reference to orgasms or release of reproductive bodily fluids.

He's a great reviewer -- I know that -- his latest one however, still managed to catch me off guard.

I am now more than eager to watch Hellboy 2, and The Dark Knight. Sad that Mr. Ledger is dead and all that. Oh well, such is life.

On a tangent, yes, before watching some movies, I let others think for me. I like going to something with preconceptions and prejudices. That way, if I'm proven wrong, it's always a pleasant surprise. (Why is tricking one's self such a round-a-bout process sometimes?)

Having said that, will the two comic book movies manage to surprise me? I hope. I wish.

It was alive at some point. Alas, no longer.

2008-07-08T01:04:00.000-07:00

I'm sad that the possible Marvel MMO was ultimately killed by a Faceless Microsoft Executive (tm). I'm even more depressed by news that development reached the point where in the X-Mansion was done and fully explorable.

CMix: It's no secret that you're an avid gamer. Is there any comic character or title that you'd still like to see in a videogame that hasn't popped up yet?

BB: Well, you're talking to one of the executive producers of the ill-fated Marvel MMO that went away. I have my laptop here, and on it I have the "X-Mansion" level fully completed that only I and five other people have access to play. It's gorgeous and fantastic and no one will ever see it. So I feel bad, because I think that MMO was a phenomenal idea that was extremely well executed and it went away because some guy at Microsoft who we'll never know pulled the plug on it before it even got underway.

But adding to that, I think that they should take each of these Marvel events and turn them into a videogame franchise. "Civil War," which will be part of the next Ultimate Alliance, "House of M," "Secret Wars"...

CMix: "Secret Invasion?"

BB: "Secret Invasion." Absolutely.

And yes, Bendis is a marketing, merchandising genius. Worried about running out of MMO expansion ideas? Then tie the MMO to your comic universe's yearly "big event."

Smart bastard.

iPod gaming: perfect for geeks with real-life obligations

2008-07-08T00:57:00.000-07:00

Damn you real life! You have parted me from my distractions. Not that it's a bad thing, but this rant space is suffering as a consequence.

Anyhow, time for a quick update. For those who are too busy with real-life and can't manage to sneak their DS lites and their PSP's past office security, I suggest you switch to iPod gaming. What games on the iPod you ask?

Behold: Song Summoner: the Unsung Heroes

My favorite part about the game? The game manages to take advantage of something that comes natural with it's platform. Sure, DS games make use of touch screen tech, PSP games take advantage of the processing and the disk space, this one takes advantage of the fact that it's on a music device:

Your Tune Troopers allies can also be "powered up" by listing to the tracks used to create them.

Think of it as Monster Rancher Portable, only a lot cooler.

D&D 4th ed, or, this game is for kids again.

2008-06-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

One of the major difficulties of the 3rd edition of Dungeons &Dragons was the bookkeeping that was involved. It wasn't that the rules were too complex or too difficult to grasp that it alienated folks. The three core rules were still there:

Roll a die, beat a number, get to do something cool.
It's a game where the rules break the rules. Improving means you get to break more rules.
It's a game that's allow your group to bend the rules to your liking.

The main problem with the way the 3rd edition of the d20 system worked was that as you progressed through the game, book keeping became more and more tedious.

Gone were the days when your level 10 character fit in your piece of scrap paper you tore from your notebook. Most players of the game had to use laptops and excel spreadsheets to keep things in track.

The 3rd edition felt like a game that was trying too hard to match the age of it's audience: mostly college freshmen, and twenty-something yuppies with laptops and better-than-average math skills.

I like that the 4th edition feels "dumbed down." I like that it's "simplified." If you look up Dungeons and Dragons on Wikipedia or on Google images, you'll see that old nostalgic geeks were never the target audience.

The cover said: "ages 10 and up."

How old were you when you started on D&D? How old really? I was 12.

In the age of MMORPGs, and the concepts of a "striker," and a "healer," and a "nuker" is generally understood by our internet cafe going youth, the game is going in the direction where it should go.

Note that I said it only feels dumbed down. The new system does have it's technical merits. Aside from the multi-classing Feats being slightly half-baked, I really, like how they trimmed the skill list, changed the saving throw, and added other parameters of defense. The lack of "true" multi-classing is my only problem with the 4th edition, everything else in it was a nice effort in streamlining.

As for the books, I feel that they could've organized the information in the Player's Handbook a bit better. For instance, the class powers could've been in a separate chapter called "Powers." Seeing long lists that look like Spell tables after the class description was a bit jarring. No, wait, let me rephrase that: it made it look like a mess - it took me a while to get used to, and it really made me hate the editor of the book for not knowing what the term "Handbook" in the book's title meant.

Aside from those minor problems. I like it. More importantly, the kid in me likes it.

I've learned that when it comes to geekish pleasures, that's what really matters.

PS: I still miss the Bard. I have a feeling though, that they just saved other more "complicated," non-MMORPG analogous roles for the other non-basic, non-introductory books they'll be printing in the future. New player acquisition is the goal after all -- "keep it simple stupid" and all that -- and the Bard is anything but simple.

I'm still alive

2008-06-14T22:10:00.000-07:00

It's been some time but I'm back, and I'm ready to blog... I blame work.

Anyhow, there's a lot of stuff to cover, and I'll try to play catchup with the next few posts. The 4th edition of D&D is out. The first preview pack of the next Magic: the Gathering expansion, Eventide is out. Pro Tour Hollywood jusr wrapped up and there's a hell of a lot of new deck techs from that event. Block season is brewing. GTA4 machinama is floating all over the web. Battlestar Galactica is getting weird. Naruto and Bleach are both doing some big reveals in the manga part of their franchises. Oh, and Tower of Druaga is a nice romp.

But, before I try to post on all of that, I'll go with the most immediate geek-gasm that's causing waves of gamma radiation to float around the geek-o-sphere: The Incredible Hulk.

Forget about the Tony Stark cameo in the film, feel bad that the Captain America cameo didn't make it past the cutting room. Yep. Cap was supposed to be there.

Too bad the Newsarama article that broke the news, didn't specify if the Steve Rogers - Bruce banner encounter involved a frozen, thawed, or newly defrosted Cap. I'm betting that if the scene makes it to the DVD, we're going to see a frozen Mr. Rogers. After all, Marvel Studios has already made public their intentions of making the Captain America film be set in WWII, so a still frozen Cap in a film that's supposed to feature the Hulk as it's main star makes sense.

So what Captain America reference in Hulk made it past the editors?
-The Super Soldier serum
-Erm, SHIELD?
-Dr. Reinstein.
-Dr. Samson
-Samuel Stern

I'm pretty sure there's more, but that's what I've caught so far.

I like that Marvel has their own studios now, and that they're now able to control the content of their films more. I also like their attempt at establishing a movie universe, where people make cameos, things are set, and everything links with one another.

On a related note, I also like how they're giving the actors involved some power over the story of the movie. I hear that Ed Norton was co-responsible for the screenplay of Hulk.

Well, Hulk's getting mixed reviews now, and being a fanboy I don't really mind. It's supposed to be an action movie, filled with gratuitous pop-corn moments of HULK SMASH.

If Hulk wasn't as fine-tuned or compelling as say Iron Man, then factoring in the freedom that Marvel's given the actors, it only proved that Robert Downey Jr. has a better sense of story than Ed Norton. At least Norton and Marvel Studios managed to bring the franchise as far away from Ang Lee as possible. I'm happy with that.

Here's to hoping Marvel hires someone decent to be Thor, and that it's every bit the epic-fantasy that they're making it to be. Personally, I'd rather they follow the "Ultimate" version of Thor... you know, the one where we're really not sure if he's a kooky nut, or if he really is a norse god. You can manage to mix epic fantasy with regular trips to the mental institution right?

Now that Marvel Studios is so dead set on building their 24 frame, silverscreen universe, they better manage to buy back their other characters from other studios, so that they could get them done right.

I don't know about you, but Spidey has to swing past the Baxter Building, Logan has to punch Nick in the face for being an ass, Attorney Matt Murdoch better get hired as a PR charity case by Mr. Stark, and by god people have to know that Galactus is NOT A CLOUD!

PS. I heard somewhere that Mr Norton didn't attend the premiere due to a hissy fit he decided to throw. Somehow. the "cut" he wanted of Hulk wasn't the one that was shown. Sorry, Ed, the problems that some reviewers had with the movie was with the lines, not the pacing. So I'm thinking it's more of the screen writer's fault (erm, you), not the editor's.

Watch the Watchmen

2008-04-06T11:41:00.000-07:00

The first watchmen production video journal can be observed here. Or here...

The wait is over

2008-04-06T07:52:00.000-07:00

The first episode of the last season of Battlestar Galactica aired last Friday. All that's left is the remaining season of Avatar and the third Volume of Heroes.

Hellboy II gets a better trailer...

2008-04-04T07:02:00.001-07:00

When EVA's dance

2008-04-04T06:13:00.000-07:00

I was trying to look for that video of an old dude who spoofed "Fly Me to the Moon" via a spinning Rei Ayanami doll on a fishing line, but I failed. I found this instead.

I am satisfied.

Old but still gold

2008-04-02T23:21:00.000-07:00

Zack Kim you ass.

I feel like Cornell Oversteel. Only I'm not Canadian, or big and hulky. Big maybe, but I'm more on the pudgy side. Zack Kim, you're the reason why the "average asian" skit exists on Mad TV. You and your ultra-talented far-eastern brethren. Gargh. Before I rant any further, here's the guitarist himself last 2007, playing the Chocobo Theme on two guitars all by his onesies.

There IS a cow level!

2008-04-01T04:07:00.000-07:00

I present to you, the Tauren Marine:

Blizzard knows it's April Fools.

Hybrid Insanity

2008-03-14T07:19:00.000-07:00

It's been a week now and still nobody's been able to figure this one out.

What's the CMC of this card!

Effects vs. Gameplay visibility

2008-03-14T06:56:00.000-07:00

See? That's why they scaled down on the falling debris...

SF2 HD Remix Bitching

2008-03-14T06:42:00.000-07:00

Capcom, I appreciate the new HD sprites and all that, but could you have at least improved the frame rate of both the sprites AND the background animation? The sprites look smooth, but the animation on the sprites feels like it's missing a lot of frames. That and the crowds in the background animate like a two-page flip book.

Also, could you have at the very least cleaned up the hit detection? You could freeze-frame some of the gameplay trailers and see Ryu kicking thin air and Ken being close to the fucking ground and getting "hit" by a flying kick.

Old-school rocks and all that, but you could've cleaned up.

Tip: Look at King of Fighters XII

StarCraft 2: reactions, release dates, and musings

2008-03-12T12:32:00.001-07:00

Now that the Zerg's been introduced to the world, them forum folks are once again starting to scream "imbalanced!" and all that. Sigh. Well, it's expected, I guess. I mean, you can't really expect everyone to understand what a demonstration video is meant to do right?

Look people, the video/videos were meant to show off the Zerg and highlight what they're all about. Of course they're going to seem overpowered. That was the point: sell the Zerg's bad-assed-ness.

Oh what the hell. Why care. It's been the same since the release of the Protoss video and the Terran video. "ZOMG the Protoss Mothership is insanezors! Whoa, the Terran nuclear reactor and the Thor are unfair!" Yeah, whatever.

Anyway, because all the races are now revealed, everyone's expecting a summer release.

I say bollocks to that. I'm expecting a December release.

You see, I'm willing to bet that Blizzard's going to take extra time trying to get the balance for the three races decent from the start. They can't really afford to tarnish the "fairness" of their Korean e-sport cash cow. When they release it, they have to get it right, or at least good, the first time. Otherwise, a lot of pro-gamers will be complaining.

Other reasons for my belief in this truthiness include the revealed developmental changes made to the game so far.

Take for example the Protoss Carriers. They were brought back specifically for nostalgia/iconic reasons, when originally they were set to be replaced by a Dark Templar version of the capital ship.

The Mothership's abilities seems to be going through some flux, and Blizzard seems to be a bit worried as to how they're going to balance the Blackhole ability, or if they're really going to allow more than one Mothership in the game at a time. The latest update to the official site seems to indicate that they've allowed the existence of several Motherships at once, per game.

Also, the Protoss Colossus: their weapons used to fire in a smooth straight arc that could wipe out swaths of Zerglings in one go. By the time the Zergling trailer came out their blasts now ressemble the Terran Battlecruiser's Plasma Bursts.

Speaking of the Terran's, the changes that race is experiencing during development are also worth noting. The Raiders used to be spawned automatically, without purchase, from a specialized building. Now it seems that they have to be purchased from your Barracks.

The Terran super-unit, the Thor is also going through some bouts of heavy trial. Folks say that they're testing if it's okay for the Thor to be able to attack both ground AND air units; how tough the armor the that giant mech is going to be; stuff like that. Rumor is that at one time, you had to kill the thing TWICE! Once to disable the thing's legs, and a second kill to finish it off.

My real curiosity though, is how they're going to balance the Ghost's "Snipe" ability. Last we saw it, it was a "stance" that imobilized your Ghosts but allowed them to kill all organic units within range in one shot. The rate of fire is slow though, but still, it's a bit unfair, especially since ALL of the Zerg are organic.

Imagine, you finally managed to develop enough to finally spew out an Ultralisk that can burrow (Stealthy elephants! WOOT!) and then you hear a pop, then your Ultralisk falls dead. That would suck wouldn't it? Worse, imagine a Ghost getting in range of your Drones... now that's a shitty situation if there ever was one.

I could say more issues, but I'll stop here.

If we DO see a summer release for the game, I'd be the first to feel mighty uncomfortable about it. I'm not a pro or anything, but I want this done right too.

Good job Sony! The EyeToy is sweet, sweet tech

2008-03-12T11:46:00.000-07:00

Remember the "draw a character and then play with it" concept in Drawn to Life? Well, for weeks now I've been reading about how Sony's Richard Marks expounded on that concept with his EyeToy.

His take on the concept makes a lot of evolutionary sense really, especially since drawing on paper with a pencil is a lot handier than drawing on a touch screen with a stylus. The thing is, I've been guilty of brushing aside Marks' EyeToy as something that's trying too hard, and is way too ahead of it's time.

Boy did Sony prove me wrong.

Check out the video below and I dare the geek in you to tell me it isn't cool tech-wise.

Forget Okami on the DS (although that would be nice), imagine Okami using EyeToy tech! You can, if you wanted to, actually invest some resources into acquiring an old-school Chinese ink brush for maximum effect!

Oh, and before I forget, here's a techy-gamers wet dream for you: imagine combining this with Jeff Han's multi touch screen technology. What do you get? The ultimate RTS!

Thank God Kotaku went to the GDC...

School Rumble 3rd Term goes straight to DVD

2008-03-10T08:33:00.000-07:00

I have a feeling this is semi-related to the issue regarding Japanese animation studios voicing their disdain for foreign(western) fan-sub groups. From Darkdiamond.net:

Good news for all School Rumble fans, the never ending school romantic comedy is bound for a 3rd season with all of the original cast and staff. Bad news is it appears this will be a straight to DVD deal.

Kodansha will bundle the DVDs of School Rumble: 3rd Term with volumes 21st and 22nd of the ongoing manga so don’t expect the same quality of previous seasons...

Gah.

Well, I guess either their budget isn't as high as it used to be, or they fear that if they spend to have the third term released on Japanese TV, raws and fan-subs of it will circulate back to Japan thus ending the otaku need to have a permanent re-playable copy of the show. Then they'd kiss bye-bye to extra profits from DVD sales. I guess in this case, DVD sales replaces advertising revenue; DVD sales also doubles as a cheap survey to see how large their loyal (money-spending) fan-base really is.

The box art for Soul Calibur IV

2008-03-10T08:03:00.001-07:00

Remember how the previous version of Soul Calibur featured unlockable "secret" characters apt for the console you've got? The Sony version got Heihachi/Yoshimitsu and the Nintendo version managed to sneak in Link.

Well, the guys from Namco Bandai (or Bandai Namco, or however they decide to sequence the names in their now merged company) are at it again. Eyeball this:

Once again, the PS3 is evil/emo.

Starcraft 2: the zerg swarm revealed

2008-03-10T07:38:00.000-07:00

Blizzard decided that March 10, 2008 would be the date that they present to those damned lucky Koreans a creepy Zerg Swarm intro video complete with epic Kerrigan narration:

Yes, Koreans are blessed with Blizzard love.

The voice over says the following:

We are Swarm.
We burned a path of annihilation across the stars.
And then -- We vanished.
Four years ago we faded into the shadows.
We thrived.
We, evolved.
Now, the time has come for us to step back ... into ... the light.
Now, worlds will tremble once again.
Empires will fall.
Alliances will shatter.
We are the swarm.
But we are becoming much... much more.
For the final metamorphosis, has only just begun.

That's not all though, after the intro they gave out a unit description session lecture style. Luckily, there's a video out there on them YouTubes that cuts out the boring lecture part, and just compresses all the featured gameplay related with each new Unit.

Behold:

Unit details:

Corruptor - New Unit - An air-to-air combat unit that instead of destroying it’s opponents, it infests them an turns them into a stationary turret-like unit/building, making them fight their own allies.
Infester - New Unit - A battle support unit, that does not have any attacks. It can however, move while burrowed. Can cast Dark Swarm, the effect of which seems to be the same as the original ability in SC1. It can also cast Disease, which creates and aura that damages a target unit. Can cast infestation, this time though it can infest any building and create infested marines from them. The marines are slow, but fires similar to regular marines.
Roach - New Unit - A peskyground unit that can regenerate HP at an incredibly fast rate. It requires powerful and concentrated fire to destroy. It has 90HP.
Overseer - New Evolutionary Unit - Evolves from the Overlord and has a larger vision range than the Overlord; can detect invisible/burrowed units.
Overlord - Upgraded - The new Overlord can no longer detect invisible/burrowed units. It can however, destroy or dismantle expandable areas and neutral posts. Can create small temporary zones loaded with creep.
Baneling - New Evolutionary Unit - Evolves from Zerglings. Snot balls that explode on contact with enemy units or buildings spraying acidic radioactive phlegm on opponents.
Swarm Guradian - New Evolutionary Unit - Evolves from the Mutalisk. Has an even longer range, and powerful against ground units. Unlike the Mutalisk it has some ground defense as it can create broodlings that attack for a period of time.
Nydus Worm - New Unit - A unit version of the Nydus Canal. Can create canals anywhere on the map. Think Dune.
Queen - Upgraded - The Zerg's super-unit. This one's focused on defense. Like the Terran Giant Robot, this one has an alternative creation method: this one's created directly from the Hatchery. Like the Mothership, you can only have 1 Queen at a time. It has many powerful abilities that are good for zerg and it mainly directs the defensive line. It can expand creeps or act as a defensive structure via turning an area of creep "toxic." It also has the ability Deep Tunnel, that allows it to move to any hatchery on the map. Although it seems more fragile compared to other super-units it is said that the Queen can evolve and learn more abilities.
Ultralisk - Upgraded - It can now burrow, and a swing from it's tusk damages in an arc in front of it. Did I mention that IT CAN NOW BURROW!!!
Old Units - The Zergling, Hydralisk, Lurker, and Mutalisk are mostly unchanged.

Real-Life Amaterasu

2008-03-05T11:19:00.001-08:00

Amaterasu Okami... without the red paint and the glowing weapons of heavenly wrath.

I feel so random today

2008-03-05T10:57:00.000-08:00

To all those who are pissed with SFIV's new look, irregardless of Ryu's penis and all that jazz (why penis why!), here's all I have to tell you:

Also, I want the image below as a poster, or a wall scroll, or on an altar/shrine of some sort. My attempts at searching for a larger image size version was complete and utter failure. I blame the universe rolling a 1.

Intertubes time

2008-03-05T10:38:00.000-08:00

Image-boards will never cease to amaze me. They are a surefire way to get the lulz you need from the intertubes. Surfin' around, one such site, I found this image:

Cute huh? No, the site I visited wasn't just filled with cutesy animals. It had downright weird stuff. For example, tell me, what does this image imply?

Blame The Chinese

2008-03-05T10:21:00.000-08:00

Yep, it's FFVII for the Famicom. Why does it exist you ask? My bet is opportunistic Chinese pirates. The Triads need your monies, and they need it as bad as Edison Chen's hands.

Seriously though, responsible group is Shenzhen Nanjing Technology Co, Ltd, a company responsible for mp3 and mp4 players. Still, my spider-sense tells me that they might have something to do with M.A.SHADE Industries, you know, those guys responsible for all those 16 in 1 DVD packages that we all love.

Click the link I posted for more details. Who knows? You might find the 8-bit Cloud sprite cute and adorable.

Political Correctness in Fighting Games?

2008-03-05T07:35:00.001-08:00

I'm starting to get a bit miffed by people complaining on the internet that the fighting-game genre has gone down the drain and has to rely on inserting massive amounts of cheesecake, mammaries, and annorexia into their female character designs in order to continue attracting audiences.

My response to the folks who say that it's all T&A nowadays is this: I present to you Bob. ...This is Bob. Bob has bitch tits.

The universe rolls a 1...

2008-03-05T06:22:00.000-08:00

and Gary Gygax dies.

At least, he went away well. I hope he did. Newsfolk say he passed away at his home. It was probably peacefull.

Nevertheless, every he fails(/makes, depending on your perspective) his final saving throw, and everyone else gets +10 sadness.

Rest in peace Dungeon Master.

Belmont vs. Jesus

2008-03-04T15:33:00.000-08:00

Thanks to my significant other, I recently became aware of the many lulz to be found at I-Mockery.com. If you're bored and you really need your intertube fix, trust me, this is the place to go.

If the Jesus versus Simon Belmont screenshot up there isn't enough to give you a clue as to why I'm such a fan, I'll let this link to their flash-game version of Castlevania 2 explain why.

You can also go to their games page and enjoy their many other offerings like Kill the Dog from Duck Hunt, or Kill the Old Man in Zelda, or Mario vs. Excitebike. My personal faves is A Warcraft Orc lost in Starcraft. That one's a doozy.

If flash games are too web-based for your old-school bleeding heart. I suggest you surf through their hacked ROM review pages. Each review of each hacked ROM also includes a link to download featured emulation aberration. The insanity includes a "Matrix" style version of NES timewaster Elevator Action, and a pornographic interpretation of Karateka. (sort of...)

You've been advised. Now go, waste your time.

I feel the same way about Dr. Mario

2008-03-03T16:56:00.000-08:00

It may sound like a Rockman tribute at the start, and the engrish may be jarring, but keep watching. There's a punchline in there somewhere.

Oh, and if you want something that's a bit more immediate, then here's Rock Man doing the Rocky Star:

GURU GURU MAWARU!

2008-03-03T16:53:00.000-08:00

School Rumble: Third Term. Booyah!

When old school fighting meets non-martial art

2008-03-03T16:15:00.000-08:00

Not to be outdone by Street Fighter IV's new Okami inspired "paintbrush 3d" look applied to a 2D plane fighter, SNK announced to the world (via Kotaku) that their old school classic, King of Fighters XII, will be purely handrawn.

It's kinda like GGX anime-level sprites, only with a higher resolution, and an insanely higher frame-rate.

From Nibelheim to Midgar

2008-02-16T04:15:00.000-08:00

Isn't technology a wonderful thing? Now that it's been a few years since Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children's release, by the time Square Enix gathers enought momentum to make a remake of Final Fantasy VII, the technology they would need to arrive at a product of the quality of Advent Children would be several times cheaper than when Advent Children was in production.

Talk about profits. I mean, noit that Advent Children wasn't made with technology, that at the time, was already two years old. Given that they've laid down a certain CG-Anime style already, they don't really have to push anything technically. They'll have more time to focus on recreating the gameplay elements and they'll have more time to think about the profits, and the marketing.

Note: Dirge of Cerberus, Last Order, and Advent Children double as extended marketing material, aside from being franchise products in their own rights.

People will gobble it up and throw their savings at the thing, if the remake ever gets done.

Speaking of technology, I found two videos on YouTube that build-up on the effect that the FFVII PS3 Tech Demo did.

You see, Crisis Core, apparently properly ends it's tale with it's hero's death. In the ending, you see Zack and Cloud in that heartwrenching moment near Midgar. Yep, it's that tradgedy where they were short of the safety of the Midgar slums by about a few hundred yards. Here's that moment as it was originally presented to in classic 32bit PS1 FFVII:

Then here's that moment in the ending of Crisis Core with spangly Advent Children graphics.

Also, here's a follow up "secret ending" bonus in Crisis Core where you see Crisis Core cut to FFVII proper. It may look like the tech demo at first, but watch it until the end. Psycho, crazy, I'm-still-messed-up-from-Nibelheim-I-think-I'm-Zack Cloud actually speaks in this.

FMVs like these, along with Advent Children, and that opening in Dirge of Cerberus that looks like Advent Children (the evacuate Midgar from Meteor-fall scene), makes it hard for any geek who's played through the first one to not hope in his heart-of-geeky-hearts that an FFVII remake be made.

Now if only they made ruby slippers for geeks.

Whodda Thunk? PS3 outsells Xbox 360 and NDS

2008-02-15T22:58:00.000-08:00

After months of bashing, and recieving it's fair share of intertube lulz, the PS3 is finally managing to make a dent on the competition. Would you believe that last January, after the holiday smoke settled, the PS3 actually outsold the DS and the Xbox 360?

The DS I can understand why, after all everyone and their dog/hamster/object of affection already has one, the sales has to slow down some time right? As for the Microsft, man they must be seething right now. Especially since some group claims to have nailed the actual figure of the Xbox 360's failure rate: 16.4%. That means that if you purchase an Xbox 360, you've got more than a one in ten chance that what you're gonna get is a dud.

I think I know why PS3 sales went up. It's 2008 already. People are already preparing of Metal Gear Solid 4 and Final Fantasy XIII. I mean, what other reason would you spend that much on a console? Loco Roco 3 you say? Well, yeah, maybe, but still.

Weekend Manga: Creepy Organs

2008-02-15T22:30:00.000-08:00

Look, a lady!

2008-02-15T22:06:00.000-08:00

You know what Magic: the Gathering needs right now? Female professional players.

Not that there aren't any already. It's just that they don't really have a presence. In quantity I mean, not in quality. After all, American Player Melissa DeTora beat Gabriel Nassif during the 8th round of ProTour Kuala Lumpur; that's a sign of quality right there if there ever was one.

Honestly, I'm really starting to root for Melissa. If anything, Magic needs another breakout celebrity. Kinda like the Sliver Kids (Chris Lachmann and Jacob Van Lunen) of Two-Headed Giant fame. You know, the zero-to-hero type cinderella story. WotC really needs the good press, since they haven't been handling player relations very well lately (tournament cancellations and all that).

So, that said, good luck Melissa! Win Kuala Lumpur!

Timmy: Overrun!

2008-02-10T17:56:00.000-08:00

About a week ago, I read on the Bennie Smith's column over at Starcitygames that green hero, Jamie Wakefield, had a problem with the power level of elves in the new standard.

Laugh as much as you want, you can't really blame the guy. As Mr Smith said, Wakefield isn't really a hundred percent into the game, so being aware of tournament results is something that I'd expect to come in last in Wakefield's list of priorities.

Anyhow, all you Wakefieldian players out there, yes, all you Timmies, if you'd allow me a few seconds of your time and listen to me for a while, I'd like to tell you a few things. I'd like to ask you to stop testing all your RW Giant decks for a moment, and go back to the color that Timmies love the most: Green.

We all now that G/X Warrior builds will be something that Spike will love for it's lightning fast aggro capabilities, and the space the Deck skeleton has for spot removal. However, there's a mono-green build that managed to be competitive and it has not a single bf removal in it. It's solution? Overrun.

Here's GPT Shizuoka 7th placer, Shuhei Nakamura's List:

Lands: 23
14x Forest
4x Treetop Village
3x Mutavault
2x Pendelhaven

Creatures: 31
4x Boreal Druid
4x Bramblewood Paragon
4x Chameleon Colossus
4x Civic Wayfinder
4x Imperious Perfect
4x Llanowar Elves
4x Wren's Run Vanquisher
3x Wren's Run Packmaster

Spells: 2
2x Overrun

Artifacts: 4
4x Obsidian Battle-Axe

Sideboard: 15
4x Serrated Arrows
3x Seal of Primordium
3x Tormod's Crypt
2x Cloudthresher
1x Elvish Champion
1x Viridian Shaman
1x Primal Command

Nothing but green, and nothing but smash-face. Timmy enough for you?

Okay, if it isn't, here's what could happen: If you've got a Bramblewood Paragon out, along with an Obisidian Battle-Axe, your Chameleon Colossus is a 7/6 hasted, trampling beat-stick for 4 mana. If you have 4 mana extra you can pump it to 14/13.

If the 14/12 isn't enough to wet your Timmy pants, how about this: if you've got the Paragon out, along with a Perfect, you can create an army of 3/3 trampling Elf Warrior tokens. Cast Overrun a turn later and you're one happy puppy.

Amusing isn't it that the monetarily cheaper Overrun is actually better than Garruk in this deck? More than that, the Packmaster's in the deck! w00t!

Death Note Special One-Shot Out

2008-02-10T17:30:00.000-08:00

This week's weekly jump included a special one-shot of Death Note. Having said that fortuitous bit of news, can I get a "squee" from all the Death Note fan-people out there?

The issue is a must read for folks as it's a continuation of story. Of course, since it's a one shot, you might be left moist and wanting. Anyhow, I personally like the issue for this super-genius character who has an obsession with Tarot card tower making.

He's fun.

The Boiling Rock gets a deadline.

2008-02-10T01:43:00.000-08:00

Good news from TVshowsonDVD.com. According to one of their articles, the third volume of the Season 3 DVD set of Avatar: the Last Airbender will be out by the 6th of May.

This means that "The Boiling Rock: Part 1" and "The Boiling Rock: Part 2" should air on TV before then.

This is basically a confirmation from another source (aside from Amazon.com) of the DVD's release date. Still late, yes, but at least the estimates for the wait for the new episodes is now before mid-May.

Yes, the wait still sucks.

8-bit Cross-stitch for the win

2008-02-10T01:18:00.000-08:00

A site called Sprite Stitch is currently gaining massive popularity with the gaming community because their Luigi Hates Mario project got featured on Kotaku.

Now I like Mario as much as the next gamer alive during the days of famicom, however I prefer their Rockman bosses project. They've got stitch charts up.

Huzzah!

I have another reason to enjoy having a girlfriend who's handy with the usual home economics stuffs. Now, aside from the awesome cooking, the beautiful bento boxes, and the handy-during-emergency shirt-sewing, I can also ask her to cross-stitch me my childhood enemies.

I'll attach them to a dartboard as soon as I manage to convince my beloved, or one of my sisters to get me Cutman, or Iceman, or whoever.

Shadowmoor Sighted

2008-02-10T00:54:00.001-08:00

Some intrepid surfer on the intarwebs decided to be kind to the magic loving community and share a collection of Shadowmoor packaging shots he ran into.

The boxes are the awesomesaucenessnessiest.

You manage to glimpse at a freakier version of Lorwyn's Greater Elementals (Horrors?), an anthropomorphic blue thing merged with flowers (Oona?), a bad-ass-looking Kithkin (Mistmeadow Skulk and his kin), some sad pathetic Elf, an elemental looking thing, and a mutant Merrow with fish heads. (Does this mean we see smart, devious, malevolent Boggarts?)

So the dark/alternate Lorwyn theory is pretty much pseudo-confirmed. All we have to wait for now are the mechanics - which, according to MaRo, aren't very tribal at all. At least we get more cards of the same type, so the synergy with Lorwyn is there.

Now I'm wondering if they actually changed the colors of each race. For one thing, them Kithkin look awfully white/black to me.

Ivalice how I love thee

2008-02-08T22:00:00.001-08:00

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I've been spending much of this morning going through that old FF Retrospective on gametrailers. Much to my surprise, other than the FFVII world, a close runner-up in FF Franchise history to have the most number of games/features set in the same setting is the world of Ivalice.

Since the setting is so robust, and I've been wondering, are there any solid table-top RPGs set in the world of Ivalice?

I spent the last 10 minutes looking through forums, and other than a few Tactics d20 homebrew pdfs that are floating around and a site dedicated to a more miniature-based experience, I haven't had much luck. I can find thread after thread dedicated to Avatar: the Last Airbender adaptations, but to Ivalice, nada. Just a handfull of stuff, mostly using the d20 system.

Below are some of the notable finds. (Not including the pdf I just found on mininova. can't link to that can I?):

Of all of them, I think I'll try to research on the last link more, or at least get in touch with the guy. I'm giving the last link extra credit since it seemed to have some disagreements with the history of Ivalice as chronicled by wikipedia.

While Squeenix has confirmed that all Ivalice titles so far take place in the same world, they're a bit mum as to the exact chronological order. There are several theories as to which goes first and what happens when, but it's all educated guesswork for now.

For example, Vagrant Story seems most recent since it's a more modern take on the original Tactics, and both share the lack of moogles - the extinction of which was noted in the original Tactics. Of course, that seems to be a bit odd as FFXII (that has moogles) references in it's bestiary a character Vagrant Story, which puts Vagrant Story someplace behind FFXII in the timeline. Confussed? I am.

Now, I'm wondering: should I try to homebrew a system myself?

I'm starting to like the idea that was put forth in Tactics Advance that Ivalice is meleable reality that could be spontaneously created/re-created. If a system could be made to bring a seeming illusion of order to that chaotic re-creation process, and an in-game mythical element could be tied with it or onto it, it could explain away all the timeline confussion. Not that there's a shortage of things to choose from. Of the top of my head theres' the Totema, the 12 Zodiacs, the Espers, the Darkness, the Great Grimoire, so on and so forth.

It could be used as the reason why people from the wrong plane: Cloud; and people from the wrong time: Balthier; keep showing up in the Lion War.

You're talking about storytelling? Rewatch War of the Worlds.

2008-02-08T19:12:00.000-08:00

I was surfing around gametrailers.com today for entertainment and general intertubes lulz, and for some reason, the several-months-old Final Fantasy Retrospective feature caught my attention.

I clicked the link, watched several of the shorts, and one particular line that was said in the short about Final Fantasy VII caught my attention. The narrator quoted Stephen Spielberg who apparently, said this:

"I think the real indicator will be when somebody confesses that they cried at level 17."

So, what's so so special about the line? Well it turns out, that at the time -- around 2004 -- Spielberg said that to a class of film students. His stand was that games weren't quite there yet as medium to tell stories.

This got me a bit miffed. So I did what I could to track down that quote of Spielberg on Google. Eventually, it lead me to an article defending storytelling in videogames and that specific videogame CG cutscene, where, it's safe to say for certain that a whole lot of us gamers cried: the Death of Aeris.

I think from the pundits -- and Spielberg's point of view -- a lot of the storytelling moments in videogames fail to stand on their own. The acting always seems off, the lines seem forced, and the camera angles all feel off, but I think the author of the article I linked to hit the nail on the head with these lines:

What has been missed here is the context for the scene that comes from playing the game itself.

The whole base of the discussion on that slide is ludicrous. His contrasting point was the opening section of Kingdom Hearts II. Who would try to compare the two to five hour mix of gameplay and scenes that make up the opening sequence of Kingdom Hearts II and a one minute clip long clip that is shown 40 hours into the 10-year-old FFVII? We don't do this when discussing traditional film. You're not going to find an article out there decrying the state of current film making by taking the "Ride of the Valkyries" scene out of "Apocalypse Now" and trying to deconstruct it without taking the rest of the film into account. And we're not going to start trying to compare the special effects with the first half of "Black Hawk Down" or "Saving Private Ryan". But the essential silliness of this exercise only scratches the surface.

Cutscenes in a game have more to do than an equivalent piece of traditional film. They don't just tell story. They have to support the game, and the game is an integral part of experiencing them.

Yep, context is pretty much paramount if you're going to squeeze any amount of emotion out of videogames.

For example, a 10 minute "History of the Legend of Zelda" audio-video piece from Video Games Live is saw on YouTube once got me to cry. Also, whenever I hear the opening theme of Final Fantasy VII or the smooth piano notes of Kingdom Heart's "Dearly Beloved," I get chills down my spine. I bet that a person completely unfamiliar with Link, Aeris, or Sora wouldn't have a similar experience.

I think that like any other medium, you get out of it what you put in. Games just tend ask for a whole lot more involvement from its audience than movies or books.

Ch-ch-changes

2008-02-08T17:14:00.000-08:00

So sad. Reuters reported a few days ago that Namco Bandai Holdings closed around one-fifth of its arcades last thurdsay. Not only that, Sega Sammy Holdings said that they also plan to close around 100 of their arcades.

What's killing the arcades? Not MMOs apparently. No folks, blame the Wii.

You know, I like the Wii as much as the next guy, but coin-op penny-arcades hold a special place in my geeky heart.

This is sad, sad news for me. Here's to hoping that it won't be a trend. *sniffles*

Avatarded

2008-02-08T16:40:00.000-08:00

There's this rumor floating around that Episode 14 of Book 3 of Avatar: the Last Airbender, The Boiling Rock Part 1, will air today at around 8:30 pm in Argentina, their time.

This, supposedly from an insider in the production unit that was responsible for dubbing the series into the local language. The "source" claims that the people responsible for dubbing, are actually done with the whole season already. And that they're just waiting for the episodes to air to admire their work.

It's already around 8:44, my time, so I guess we'll all find out in an hour or so. (Accounting for the probable 12 hour difference, and the upload time to the intertubes.)

EDIT: Oh well, it was too good to be true.

Weekend Manga: "Failed Attempt"

2008-02-08T09:24:00.000-08:00

Spike: How's white weenie doing?

2008-02-08T04:55:00.001-08:00

Go to any Magic: the Gathering forum right now and there's probably a thread discussing the future of the color white.

Why the discussion? Well, that's because popular opinion is that the color white as a whole isn't getting much support from WotC. Sure, every now and then you get an Oblivion Ring, but then you get a vanilla 2/10 at rare. Imagine the expletives you'd be saying if you open that in a pack.

The complaints range from the very simple "white gets bad rares!" to the very thoughtful, "Wizards just seems to be going through the motions with white right now. They finally managed to fix green, now they're trying to figure out how to focus/fix white."

The funny thing is, that despite the debates and the numerous rants about how bad white is right now, the color can still manage to surprise several metagames and place 1st. In that same tournament where a Reveillark deck managed a top 8 finish, this combination of 75 cards posted the best results:

GPT Shizuoka 2008 - Chiba
1st
Ishimura Shintaro

Creatures:
4 Cenn's Tactician
4 Goldmeadow Harrier
4 Goldmeadow Stalwart
4 Kinsbaile Borderguard
4 Knight of Meadowgrain
4 Wizened Cenn
1 Tivadar of Thorn

Spells:
3 Oblivion Ring
3 Griffin Guide
4 Sunlance

Lands:
13 Plains
4 Rustic Clachan
4 Horizon Canopy
4 Mutavault

Sideboard:
4 Soltari Priest
2 Stonecloaker
1 Tivadar of Thorn
1 Wispmare
1 Militia's Pride
4 Mana Tithe
2 Coordinated Barrage

Looking through the list I saw another Japanese 1 of in the form of Tivadar of Thorn. Yes, them Japanese folks love 1 ofs in decks, they seem to draw what they need, when they need it. It's called listening to "heart of the cards." A secret technique perfected by an ancient master named Yugi. Anyhow, what makes Tivadar stand out is that he's white's weenie's solution to the changeling menace. Protection from Goblins means protection from Mutavault, Chamelleon Colossus, Taurean Mauler, and Nameless Inversion. Protection from Goblin Rogues is an added bonus.

Another element that surprised a lot of forum pundits is the presence of Cenn's Tactitian in full force. Most folks deemed that white weenie wouldn't have time to pump creatures with the Tactitian's tap ability. Turns out, you just need him for his cost, and his other ability that lets you block better. The tap ability's just a bonus that ties in with the Borderguard in the deck.

So what else stands out in this white weenie deck? Well, if you hadn't noticed, it has 25 lands. Shintaro must've been pretty much hellbent on using the reinforce mechanic on Rustic Clachan instead of playing it.

Observations aside, since word broke that it got first spot, folks have been trying out variations to the deck. Not that the deck itself isn't already a take on kithkin weenie before Morningtide was released.

Some are trying out Ajani Goldmane to place more emphasis on combat phase via the granted vigilance and +1/+1 counters. Others have thought it best to combine the weenie deck with the counterintuitive Wrath of God. The idea is that Kinsbaile Borderguard loves a reset spell anyway, so why not put it in your deck? Also, there are those who choose to go with the theme and are slaving away at getting the Ballyrush Banneret to work (much to the chagrin of those who think the deck's curve is good enough already).

Will the deck live past this one tourney? Who knows. Other archetypes are already coming out of the woodwork. There's the Bitterblossom-control archetype that's red/black instead of blue/black. And then there's the Pat Chapin-hyped mono-black Rogue aggro that allowed for Bad Moon to finally see competitive play again. I mean, who knew it was good with Marsh Fliter and Oona's Blackguard? *rolls eyes*

There's also the tier 1 staples in the form of Dragonstorm; the various builds of black/green, the ever popular RG mana ramp; the faeries of the green, black, and blue variation; and the many forms of changeling aggro. That's a lot of possible roadblocks right there.

On paper, the power level of the deck seems sub par compared to the staples, however, you can't deny a 1st place finish. I urge all the spikes out there to give this archetype some thought (because I'm not one of you, I'm a scrub) or better yet, some tweaking. Maybe it does indeed have the legs to be competitive.

Where's Countryside Crusher?!

4th ed: Tieflings on talk shows and Campaign resources

2008-02-07T00:34:00.001-08:00

I don't know about you, but using flash cartoons to hype up your latest gaming product seems like a good idea to me.

The latest cartoon on the mothership's site is very informative and has convinced me to allocate some DSL bandwidth for the torrent of the PDFs come the realease of the books.

I know, piracy contributes to terrorism and all that, but as long as most RPG books in my country are only available through one sole distributor, I'd rather be an international cirminal and be guilty of intellectual propery theft.

Anyhow, if you're curious about what we know so far about Dungeons and Dragons 4th ed use your internets and torrent up these titles: Wizards Presents: Worlds and Monsters, and Wizards Presents: Races and Classes.

As for the "Campaign resources" part of the title above, here's the story. I was looking through several forums, and after sifting through several posts and browsing through the blogs that forum folks have listed on their profiles, and I ran into this place: The Campaign Builders' Guild.

It's basically a community of talented and intelligent people with way too much time on their hands, all willing to lend a helping hand if ever you find yourself in need of some help when it comes to fleshing out your RPG Campaign. Yes, you can no longer give out excuses like, "I'm sorry players, I want to run one, but my homebrew rules aren't panning out."

Go forth young storyteller! Create!

Does this count as Porn?

2008-02-06T23:41:00.000-08:00

I was looking around for model swords on google -- an activity that most geeks with weapon fixations love to pursue -- when I ran across something that is borderline awesome and something that is borderline pornographic.

Here's what happened.

When I surf, I usually tend to just right-click several items that turn up on Google off the bat, without even reading the description.

The first tab that opened led me to the awesome.

I ran into some company called honestdragonchina that is manufacturing a copy of the sword that Cloud used in Final Fantasy: Advent Children. Yes, we've all seen huge-ass sword remakes before, but what's cool about this one is that it seems to have copied the "assembly" function of the sword/sword-set that Cloud used in the movie.

So after appreciated the craftsmanship involved with such an expensive and complicated shelf display, and mourning over the fact that it's only made of high-grade wood and not some aluminum alloy, I hotkeyed alt-tab, and lo and behold:

Tell me, does this count as porn?

Quotable Quotes

2008-02-06T23:10:00.000-08:00

In the recent edition of Official Playstation Magazine, Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core director, Hajime Tabata answered questions regarding the direction of the much loved Final Fantasy VII franchise. Amusing that he wasn't asked much about Crisis Core specifically.

Anyhow, he said a few things that got fan-boys(and girls) wetting their pants:

"The possiblity for a remake may become greater if, for instance, the schedules of the original members of the Final Fantasy VII development team, such as Kitase and Nomura, open up"

Did you year that? He said they might do it.

So, for the sake of that hi-def FFVII that you've all been wanting to see, keep bombarding Kitase and Nomura with e-mails until FFXIII and Versus XIII goes gold ("going gold" is jargon for "done, finito, ready for selling). That way, they might consider pushing through with your little obsession.

Waiting sucks

2008-02-05T20:17:00.000-08:00

Since Nickelodeon is incredibly delayed with their air-schedule of Book III of Avatar: The Last Airbender, and Canada's YTV -- our last hope for up-to-date Avatar -- decided to re-run Avatar from the start, we'll probably have to wait until mid March or early April to catch a new episode of Avatar.

The new title is rumored to be "The Boiling Rock" by the way, and it's said to be a two part shindig. Current popular speculation regarding the episode is that it's a "great escape" story, focusing on all the characters that have been captured by the Fire Nation so far. I'm thinking that most people supporting this theory just plain miss Suki. The other theory is that it's a firebendiny-avatary-element-mixing-training episode where Aang learns to bend lava.

Personally, I'm hoping it's a White Lotus episode. We seriously need a big reveal when it comes to that secret organization. I mean, come on, there's been enough teasing about it across so many episodes.

Yes, I like Iroh, the old fart. Sue me.

Anyhow, given the long and tiresome wait, I'm willing to bet that the next volume of Heroes will air earler than the new Avatar episode (NBC did promise march-ish). Who knows?

Damnit, this avatard is going through Avatar withdrawal and he doesn't like it.

Johnny: Reveillarking back and forth

2008-02-05T19:04:00.000-08:00

Since it's been spoiled, people have been going gaga over the 4/3 flying elemental named Reveillark. Particularly because of Reveillark's very potent "when I leave play" ability.

With that in mind, do me a favor and imagine that you have a sacrifice outlet in the form of a suspended Greater Gargadon, a Nantuko Husk, or even a Mirror Entity that you intend to use to set your all your creature's power and toughness to zero. Got that in your head? Good.

Okay, now that you have those elements, check out the possible interactions that Reveillark has with either of the cards that are pictured below it.

Yes, you can go infinite with it.

As long as you can maintain a sacrifice outlet, you can endlessly recur a creature from your graveyard into play. This allows for Soul Wardens to gain you infinite life, for Mogg Fanatics to kill people for you, or for singleton Merrow Witsnipers to deck people. Nevermind the possibility of seeing a returning Martyr of Sands, a back-from-the-grave Mulldrifter, or a Venser gone mad.

Furthermore what's nice about the Reveillark combo is that it's flexible enough to allow you to take your deck in different directions.

Choosing Saffi as a Reveillark partner allows you to go either green/red/white or green/white/nlack. Red and green gives acces to burn, acceleration, and other ways to sacrifice your creatures - Thermopod for infinite mana anyone? Black, can help out in the tutoring and disruption department. It can also help with getting stuff from your hand to your graveyard. Who thought Oona's Prowler could be used primarily as a discard outlet instead of a 3/1 for 2 beater?

Body Double on the other hand, let's you bleed into counterspell/control territory - something that's always nice.

Surfing around the mtgsalvation forums, I ran across a list that somebody got from a Japanese tournament. The mix of 75 cards bellow supposedly managed to snag top 8.

Creatures:
4 Mulldrifter
4 Mirror Entity
4 Reveillark
4 Riftwing Cloudskate
3 Bonded Fetch
3 Body Double

Spells:
4 Prismatic Lens
1 Mind Stone
3 Condemn
3 Momentary Blink
4 Wrath of God

Land:
5 Island
4 Plains
4 Adarkar Wastes
4 Wanderwine Hub
3 Faerie Conclave
2 Calciform Pools
1 Urza's Factory

Sideboard:
2 Teferi, Mage of Zhalfir
2 Draining Whelk
2 Sower of Temptation
1 Stonecloaker
3 Teferi's Moat
1 Mystical Teachings
4 Flashfreeze

Amazingly, going the Body Double/Mirror Entity route seems to have simplified things given that you can stack so many copies Mirror Entity's ability with X=0.

All I'm waiting for now is for someone to experiment with a more aggresive Blue/Red/White version that uses the Elemental tribe for Smokebraider and Incandescent Soulstroke based acceleration, that has Elemental Harbinger to search for stuff, and Greater Gargadon for inevitability. Yes, it may not be efficient, but the point is, the combo is so open, that it can go that route. Amazingly, WoTC printed all the tools to do so.

And here people were complaining that combo was dead.

Anyhow, those too "Spikey" to bother trying to assemble the pieces to get the combo going, relax, Momentary Blink still loves Reveillark. You see, what's ultimately nice about Reveillark is that it doesn't have to go infinite to get you the win.

She said, she said

2008-02-04T21:06:00.000-08:00

These women think that if you have a penis, are over 20, and are playing videogames, you are a man teen or a child-man. Yes, they have ways of coming up with funny names.

This other lady though, would have none of that. After all, what about all those humans with vaginas that are over 20 and love playing videogames? What are they? Just plain escapist?

Another case of she said, she said - when women argue over feminism. (Or at least, when it goes overboard. As the uppity bitch said, "Xboxes are toys afterall.")

Nostalgia Wins! Chrono Trigger sells for over 1K

2008-02-04T06:13:00.000-08:00

An extremely collectible copy of the SNES classic, Chrono Trigger sold for over one thousand dollars over at eBay the other day.

Proof that there's a niche out there that present day RPGs aren't filling? You bet. Proof that there are a lot of geeks out there that earn way too much? Definitely. I mean, look at what this guy did with his Xbox 360 Elite:

See? Way too much resources, and of course, talent. If you can afford to spend over a thousand bucks on a game that can be played via easily accessible emulation software, you definitely can afford to jury-rig your $500 entertainment/game system.

Vorthos: Radha, Warrior Princess

2008-02-04T03:05:00.001-08:00

I know the deck's been talked about for weeks now, and I'm well aware of the fact that every monkey and his uncle's been fiddling around a mix of 75 that contains Bramblewood Paragon, Obsidian Battle-Axe, and a random assortment of warriors/elves. However, I feel the urge to blog about the deck not because it is potentially competitive, or it's damned fun to play, I do so because of it's undeniable Vorthosian nature.

Yes, a deck that could be potentially competitive, and still full of vorthosian theme-love and geeky 90s TV references.

So, to jump straight into it, take a look at the deck-skeleton bellow:

Firstly, they're all women. Secondly, they're all warrior-women. Lastly, one of them is the Heir to Keld. If you're not hearing the Xena, Warrior Princess theme right now, think of this moment as my attempt at cuing the music for you.

[Ta dada ta dad a tum tamtamm...]

So, you've got Xena in the form of Radha. That's pretty much required, as Radha would likely be the only Legendary Creature in the Deck. Also, being a heir to Keld doesn't hurt either.

Gabrielle is probably any one of the three other warrior elf hotties -- probably the Paragon. Staff weapon? Check. Odd armor? Check. Lesbo aura? Double-check.

The remaining ladies could be counted as any number of numerous blade-weilding feminine fighters in the show. You know, those scantily clad ladies that often gang up on Xena and Gabrielle at the start of the show, and yet somehow end up on their side by the end of it? I mean, the ones that are there mainly to attract audience members with testosterone.

I'd like to go through Google right now and make a card to character comparison using a "Characters of Xena" fan-site that I might find. Just for the sake of Wren's Run Vanquisher and Imperious Perfect having character analogues and all that. However, doing so will probably make me feel a bit too dirty - all that implied lesbian love and all that. So, here's a link naughty peps, knock yourselves out.

The Obsidian Battle-Axe pretty much counts as a generic Xena-verse weapon. Too bad it isn't as stupid-broken as that returning flying chakram of doom that Xena actually uses.

The Keldon Marauders that show up in some lists obviously count as Xena's flunkies, so amazingly they're still in theme. The random assortment of burn/pump spells that make their way into deck lists can be explained away by counting them as funky 90s TV special effects unique to New Zealand, so all the non-permanents are still in theme.

As for the non-elf/warriors cards that show up in deck lists so far, most of them still fall into theme. Both the Chameleon Colossus and the Taurean Mauler fit well in the Xena-verse as that particular planar existence isn't short on shapeshifting titans and magical bulls. The same could be said for the much hyped Countryside Crusher.

Basically, as competitive as the list gets, as long as Radha's still there, the deck is still essentially a souped up Vorthosian theme deck that can kick ass and take names. Funny, no?

All of that aside though, what I love most about the deck as it shows up on several MtG related forums so far is the odd choice for some to include this card:

In the right build the Elvish Handservant is only slightly slower than a 2/2 for 1 mana. For Vorthosian purposes, he counts as the bitch-slave of the warrior ladies. Going with the theme, in the Xena verse he'd probably be this guy...

...and everyone knows how surprisingly useful he was during some of the warrior princess' misadventures.

What type of gamer are you? (this is not a quiz that leads to stuff you can paste on your blog)

2007-08-16T22:57:00.000-07:00

As intelligent and academic as Chris Bateman's Nine Basic Types of Gamers is, I find myself more moved, and (as expected from Destructoid) more entertained by David Houghton's Guide to Recognizing Your Gamers series.

If you'd rather describe a Gamer by patterns of play, emotions, and terms derived from Temperament Theory, then I highly suggest you read Bateman's work. I for one, think that I count as a Manager/Wanderer in Bateman's classification.

Anyhow, if you'd rather use direct and "descriptive" terms like back-seat gamer, PC snob, chavs, japanophile, and fanboy then check out Houghton's stuff using the links below.

Chapter 01 - Back-Seat Gamers and Closet Gamers
Chapter 02 - Chav Gamers
Chapter 03 - Fluffy Gamers and PC Snobs
Chapter 04 - Technical Gamers and Japanophiles
Chapter 05 - Aggressive Gamers and Ghosts
Chapter 06 - The One Game Gamer
Chapter 07 - The Collecting Gamer
Chapter 08 - The Defeatist Gamer
Chapter 09 - The Tragically Unfortunate Gamer
Chapter 10 - The Fanboy

D&D 4th ed: Fly by night the Mountain Dew!

2007-08-16T22:40:00.000-07:00

The fourth edition of Dungeons & Dragons will be on sale come May 2008, and based on what's been shown so far at the official Wizards of the Coast site, and at Gen Con 2007, the edition looks quite ...interesting.

Here's what the WotC Gen Con 2007 coverage had to say about the new DnD:

Where do we start with the new edition? Expanded online content? Character levels going to 30? More defined character roles? DM-ing made easier? The virtual gaming table and character generator? The re-launch of Dungeon and Dragon magazines as online publications?

To get a clearer idea, here's the video presentation Wizards used:

A few seconds after the video presentation loaded on my browser, my Firefox tab containing theOfficial DnD page turned into a WotC public announcement thingy that says that the page is down due to high traffic. Damn.

When Ninjas meet golf, God save Tiger Woods

2007-08-14T10:49:00.001-07:00

Words just fail this game. It is just plain too ultimate for mere words to describe. Ninja Golf truly shows how one can apply Real Ultimate Power to arrogant, decadent pastimes that masquerade as sports and eat land that could have been used for government housing. The stuff written on the instruction booklet for the game? Complete failure. Here, read it yourself:

For ten years you've trained to be a Ninja. And now your Master tells you that it's time to take the final, most difficult test and become a Master Ninja. You must complete the game of death. You must play nine holes of... Ninja Golf?

You knew your Master was a bit weird, but nothing prepared you for this! You must attempt to sneak in a birdie between karate kicks while you battle Ninja opponents. Par for this course means leaving the green littered with fallen foes.

You gain points for both your golf game and defeating attacking Ninja. You can also earn points for finding treasures and other bonus items along the course.

Once you've completed all nine holes successfully, be ready to challenge the disguised Master Ninja. This final battle will determine whether or not you become a Master Ninja. And if you win, it will improve your golf score.

Ninja Golf reigns supreme! If only the game was more famous. Why did it have to be released for the Atari 7800? Why?! Whaaiiiii~~?? BluSky Software should've just sold the game they developed to Nintendo - who was dominant at the time - instead of just bowing to will of Atari Corporation?

This is the only game wherein you can engage in golf, plow through some platforming/beat-em-up action against a plethora of enemies that include mutant frogs and psychotic gofers, and experience epic boss battles against dragons that protect the final hole.

For those of you who wish to experience Real Ultimate Power I suggest that you install an Atari 7800 emulator into your PC/PSP and enjoy this game. For those of you who fail at Real Ultimate Power, all is not lost, a watered down Flash version of the game can be acquired using your ninja stealth skills (ergo, google it yourself).

Trust me! This game is ULTIMATE! Ninja Gaiden Sigma, Naruto Ultimate - Narutimate Accel, the DOA girls, and even Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2007 has nothing on this under-appreciated Atari gem.

Did Ryu Hayabusa have to mind the wind velocity while he killed mindless ground based foes that predictably charged at him? No. Did Naruto have to battle psychotic gofers? No. Did the DOA girls have to dodge poop while they played beach volleyball? No. No scat in DOA folks. Does Tiger Woods have Real Ultimate Power? No.

Take it from this video reviewer who chooses to lurk in YouTube (no, it's not from the Ask A Ninja dude):

Quick! All you loyal members of the ninja meme, band together against the pirates of this world. Start a petition that requests that this game be released on all those online services.

Yes, those online services that companies greedily use to sell old games on their glittery new next-gen console so they can pad their game portfolio ("hundreds of games for the Wii" my ass). The experience that is Ninja Golf must be spewed upon the next generation. It must damage young impressionable minds who spend Wii/Micrsoft Points.

Until next time, enjoy your Ninja Burgers, and always remember to avoid falling poop from ninja birds - you die instantly when you get hit by those.

90s PC game nostalgia...

2007-08-14T09:45:00.000-07:00

I was bored last night.

Not able to stand the monotony, I decided to go through my game shelf just to see if there was something that I could pop into my PlayStation 2 and enjoy. I eventually picked up and dusted off my copy of Clover Studio's Viewtiful Joe 2. I decided to play through the first stage mostly as Sylvia. While I was blasting through the stage with her pink guns of unrelenting joy and joyfulness, I suddenly got hit by a wave of nostalgia.

I needed a 2D platforming high.

Why go with 2D you ask? Well, it's because if there's anything that Castlevania on the DS and Viewtiful Joe by Clover proves, it is that there's still room for well-done 2D platforming games in this hyper defined, 1080p, next-gen world.

Dammit, I want to play Commander Keen again.

Commander Keen - Tom Hall- id Software - 1990

For those who don't know, Commander Keen is a series of games made by id Software in the early 90s. The cartoon-y game was notable for it's then outstanding use of EGA graphics, and it's proliferation through shareware distribution.

The last incarnation of Billy Blaze (the protagonist of the game) was seen last 2001 on the Game Boy Color. Unfortunately that was a bad, bad game. It was so iffy, that even Tom Hall, designer of the original series does not consider the GBC game to be a sequel.

Given that Keen references are made several and later id Software games like Doom and Quake, it would be really, really be apt if they revived it somehow, and then made references to id Software games over the years.

*insert dead Keen from Doom pic here*

You know what? I don't even care if the next Keen incarnation is a 2D platformer. They could turn it into a 3D platform action game, as long as they execute it well. I just want to see Keen again. I want to experience the game universe, the humor, and the fun of the world again. I just want to see the franchise alive again. I want to see it revived. More importantly, I want to see it done right.

Syndicate - Peter Molyneux - Bullfrog Productions - 1993

Some folks really enjoy playing Splinter Cell: Double Agent's Spies of the Third Echelon vs Upsilon Force Mercenaries multiplayer. I for one particularly like using that almost magical wrist computer to break glass, open security doors, hack or whatever else some super-genius could accomplish without the use of guns and with only a Swiss-army knife to rely on.

Because of the massive popularity of the stealth genre, and all this espionage stuff saturating console video games, I'm really starting to miss Bullfrog Productions 1993 game Syndicate, and its all powerful Persuadertron.

I know that a lot of gameplay elements from this game have been redone, and executed better in more contemporary games. But still, it's the cyberpunk world I miss. The most recent incarnation of the old franchise is via Electronic Arts' EA Replay for the PlayStation Portable. It had the Sega Genesis version. Bad choice really. Aside from the clunky controls, it had seriously dumbed down graphics.

*No you don't want to see horribly bad Sega Genesis screenshots...*

This was the first game that allowed me to sorta micro/macro manage the AI of my units, it combined RTS elements, and it made me pause and think of ways to sneak my agents from point A to point B without being detected. It even got me running away from cops before GTA III did.

I miss the gameplay. I miss the cyberpunk, I miss the missions, I miss the chaos. They could turn it into a sandbox game ala GTA for all I care, I just want to see the franchise alive again. I want to see it revived. Most importantly, I want to see it done right.

Other 90s Franchises I also wanted to mention
...but really can't due to the existence of recent and decent incarnations or recent rumors on them thar intarwubs.

Duke Nukem - The new Duke Nukem game is still in a perpetual state of "we're working on it." More on that rumor in a future post.
Wing Commander - Wing Commander Arena is set to grace XBLA come summer 2007.
Master of Orion - Master of Orion III got released last 2003.
X-COM - Take-Two Interactive acquired the property in full a few months before they acquired Irrational Games. Irrational Games founder Ken Levine often cites X–Com as a game that stands the test of time.

Relief...
Thank the gods (or the cylon God) that StarCraft II and Fallout 3 both look to be on the right track. Blizzard even listened their fan-base and replaced the planned "dark Carrier", the Tempest, with the original big yellow Protoss Carrier. With the game in constant flux though, who knows what it'll look like by 2008?

Potential old-school rejuvenation aside, the specs required for SC2 and Fallout 3 gameplay scare me. I miss 90s games for a different reason now.

Why do graphics cards have to be so expensive?

(Oh, yeah, what about Nova from StarCraft Ghost? Now that SC2 is brewing, is the spunky female Ghost forever doomed to spend time in vaporware limbo?)

Eight optional videogame bosses we hated

2007-08-14T09:22:00.000-07:00

Optional/extra/hidden/secret videogame bosses are the guys that either get a lot of love - because they eventually serve as points of comparison to see how big your gaming wang is - or they don't get noticed at all, because well ...they're optional. You could very well finish the game and not get pestered by them.

Their existence is quite amusing really. Mostly because much like the Colossi from Shadow of the Colossus, they're not out to ruin your day. They don't suddenly show up at the end of a stage and challenge your honor, or force you into a duel to the death or whatever. You're the one who wandered into them. You're the one who crashes into their world and asks them to duke it out with you just because you "rock oh so much."

What follows is a list of videogame bosses we loved to hate - which is a good thing since it's their job for us to hate them - and we'll gladly hunt them down again and again, even if they were just minding their own business.

The Forgotten One - Castlevania: Lament of Innocence - KCET

For a guy who's stuck in a place called the Prison of Eternal Torture, he's doing pretty well. For one thing he's still mostly shaped like a human.

There's just something about the fact that the guy drops worms, maggots, or whatnot on you that creeps me out. Head that shoots lasers? Acceptable. Hands that tries to smash you into bits? Acceptable. An exposed rotting heart that serves as a weak point? Acceptable. Maggots (the size of small dogs) that fall out of its abdomen? Nuh-uh. No. Gross.

Optional boss gets the hate for the ew-factor.

Behemoth - Blood Will Tell - WoW Entertainment

Just getting the eighth chapter of this game to fight this boss is a pain. To unlock this stage you have to have found all 47 body parts found in Chapters 1-7. Then you get to fight this bastard, and then you find out that he has five forms. How hard is it? Well, take this snippet from Da_Great_SoFaRo's FAQ over at GameFaqs.com:

If, by some miracle (cough cough GameShark cough), you manage to defeat the fourth form, you'll be able to fight the fifth and final form. Its heart falls out, and from what I've heard, you have to use Slice Attack on it and get in-- get this-- 48 hits! Forty-eight ****ing hits! In one shot! That's ****ing INSANE!!!

At least beating this boss is worth it. You get to unlock Dororo mode.

Yeah, the game may have gotten low review scores for a bad camera and repetitive action, but most of the reviews agree that it's the boss battles that redeem this game. It's hidden boss - The Behemoth - made us hate him enough to want to buy this game, instead of just renting it.

Reptile - Mortal Kombat Sega Genesis - Midway

Why was this guy annoying? Because he taunted us a lot at the start of our fights. Because he looks silly in green. Because he claims that we can't match his speed. Because an annoying floaty head shows up a lot. Because most kids back then though he was the bees knees when really all he was combat-wise was a weird amalgamation of Sub-zero and Scorpion.

At least we got to fight him in that spike pit.

The Cow King - Diablo II - Blizzard

The rumor was that in the first Diablo there is a secret cow level. Sorry there wasn't. Listen to the StarCraft cheat folks: there is no cow level. However, in Diablo II there is indeed a secret cow level, filled with ...cows.

*insert picture of cow level here*

The stage is lead by the mighty and evil Cow King. Killing him grants you the item set "The Cow King's Leathers," unfortunately though, killing the Cow King renders the cow level inaccessible. Which sucks. Which is why we hate this piece of pixelized royal bovine.

Culex - Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars - Squaresoft and Nintendo of America

Culex is what happens when Square Enix (who was just plain Squaresoft back then) sneaks in a Final Fantasy reference in a game that's already filled with Nintendo cameos.

We hate him because he made us wish that we were just playing a more difficult RPG instead of a turn based Mario game that could be beaten while at level 3. We didn't really notice the lack of difficulty until we got to face the guy. So much for suspension of disbelief.

Oh, and the Final Fantasy music could've stayed in Final Fantasy. Damn you Culex, damn you for being in Mushroom Kingdom.

The Original Athena - SNK vs Capcom: SVC Chaos - SNK Playmore

Not really an optional boss, but you do have to meet certain standards to get to her. Getting to fight Athena is easy enough: don't lose any round from stages 1 through 7, and don't win by block damage. But getting to fight athena isn't what's annoying about her. Compared to other fighting game bosses, she isn't even that hard. Yes, the bow move is damned annoying, but one can adapt. Here's the annoying bow move; check out the guy's life bar:

What I really hated about her involved the endings that you got after you beat her. There's something about seeing the almighty ruler of heaven sitting down in front of TV and generally being a lazy bum that's a bit too annoying. Sure, it's humorous and even downright hilarious at times, but it's just not worth the fight you had to go through to see it.

For example, Dan's and Hugo's ending after fighting Athena - a few comedic snippets, but then they're ultimately too short. That's that? Oh well, at least Athena's a bit more pleasing to the eyes in this one.

Sephiroth - Kingdom Hearts - Square Enix

Not only does he have a move that zaps you for "massive damage", he moves damned fast. In fact, if you weren't able to manage the camera in the the first Kingdom Hearts, just looking at him was such a pain.

In the second run of the series, the camera was slightly friendlier, so figuring out where Sephiroth was standing and attacking you from was slightly easier. Sephiroth himself wasn't any less difficult to kill though. He still goes batsh*t insane when he's close to death.

Oh, and did I mention that Sephiroth has an absurd number of life-bars? One-winged bastard.

Yazmat - Final Fantasy XII - Square Enix

This annoying bugger has 50,000,000 hit points. That's around 50 life bars! Even using the reverse spell this guy still takes at the very least an hour to beat.

The really annoying bit when fighting this guy, is that his defense increases as the battle progresses, so basically at the start you're pretty confident dealing maximum damage, but later on the damage you deal shrinks. Oh, and he starts to get pissed.

He's weak against shadow element attacks, but that hardly helps. Tactically, he's relatively easier compared to other optional bosses. The thing is, he's an endurance match that really tests your patience. This guy takes time to kill, and one wrong sequence of commands could very well lead to your demise.

Damn you Yazmat. You made us use Gambits (ironically the automation, and the consequential tactical/strategic possibilities brought about by which, caused the game to get panned by some pundits).

Sorry, no mention of the other Weapons in the FF series. They're just too obvious.

Transforming 80's cartoons into gen-now videogames

2007-08-14T08:36:00.000-07:00

Most 80's cartoons were made to help market toys and other franchise-related merchandise. I'm wondering now is whether or not that Saturday morning magic will work on this generation's electronic occupation.

Given, the huge buzz generated by the now in contention Ghostbusters game (thank the gods Dan Akroyd confirmed it few months ago), it seems there are a lot of franchises from way back when that could get a great boost if it gets adapted for our gaming interests.

But how would these 80's cartoons translate into "generation now" video games? Which platforms would each game be for? How would each game play? This article will imagine what would happen if we turn 80's cartoon shows into generation now games.

Let's start with two 80's cartoons that share the same universe (yes 80's uber-geeks, I know that Etheria and Eternia are different places, but the two series did cross multiple times) He-Man and She-Ra, and then I'll move from there.

Hallowed Castle Grayskull

Given that Etheria (She-Ra's world) is ruled by Hordak and his intergalactic Horde and that She-ra was originally from He-Man's relatively backwater world of Eternia, it's easy to conjure a multi-planetary sword/sorcery/sci-fi game setting. It also helps that I already have a vast corpus of spin-offs, remakes (He-Man got remade back in 2002), and comic book/movie versions of the Universe.

If you're a table-top RPG junkie, you're probably making up systems and factions in your heads right now. Imagine: multiple planets, the great religion of Grayskull, odd magic, factions, empires, and floating mages with yellow beads for eyes and big "O"s on their chests. That's a lot of material to play with and anyone planning to create a game out of this will likely have a field day.

So how would the a next-generation gen-now game for this beloved 80s cartoon look like? Given the presence of multiple worlds, and a religion of sorts (the power of Grayskull), I'm thinking that a KOTOR-styled RPG story structure - meaning good dialogue, a non-linear story, and fair cut-scenes - added with a dash of Kingdom Hearts II action-oriented gameplay (sans the bad camera) would be great for this. Given the bucket loads of graphical power this might require, I'm thinking that the PC would be a great platform for this game.

Your lead character could be a "Hero of Grayskull" or a member of some similar faction, and the non-linear story you're going to plow through will feature multiple cameos by beloved characters from both cartoons. Lots of action, lots of rock throwing, swords, sorcery, useless sci-fi vehicles, cool mounts, and amazing transformation sequences when you call upon the "Power of Grayskull".

Hippie communes and blue-skinned communists

I'm bunching the Care Bears and the Smurfs together because both have had multiple videogames before, both have this happy feel good feel to it. I'm also bunching them together because I think they'd make awesome handheld games.

A Care Bears platformer can really take advantage of the DS' stylus. Imagine having to "pen-in" Care Bear Stare arcs to hit wandering baddies. Imagine having to blow into the DS' microphone to create cloud puffs for your bear to jump in. Imagine having to switch Care Bears because each has powers that are only helpful in certain situations. Cool, right?

As for the Smurfs - those lovable blue skinned communists - I'm thinking that a nice 3D cell-shaded, Crash Bandicoot-styled platformer for the PSP would be a great Smurfs game. Riddle the game with multiple unlockable, Pop-cap styled casual games, and the re-playability would go through the roof.

Of course, to add a bittersweet, this-isn't-as-cutesy-as-you-think-it-is element to the game, I'd like to amp up the evil-ness of Satanic Sorcerer Gargamel and his now Smurf-eating cat Azrael. Come to think of it, Azrael would make a nice recurring mid boss, wouldn't he?

The Rockstar Life

Inter-Band rivalries and sabotage, secret identities, holographic technologies, and two person love-triangles. Jem and the Holograms was one insane 80's cartoon, and a generation-now game for it would have to be just as insane.

We're going to need a Wii for this one.

Imagine taking Guitar Hero rock and roll fantasy gameplay, and then mix it with some Wario Ware Smooth Moves-styled mini-game insanity. Some of us have always wanted to use the Wiimote as a guitar and I'm thinking that it would be great with Guitar Hero-styled concerts, and I'm thinking that a Jem and the Holograms game would be a nice place to showcase a Wiimote-air-guitar.

What about the mini-games? In the 80's toon, Jem and her band, the Holograms, go on tour regularly, and they constantly have to fight off sabotage attempts from rival band, The Misfits. The mini-games could stand in for conflicts like these. A bad performance in the mini-game would then mean that The Misfits sabotage attempt was more successful, and thus increase the difficulty level for the next concert.

Since the cartoon was full of semi-soap opera complications, multiple endings depending on concert performances would be nice. Will Jerrica Benton get together with band manger Rio Pacheco? Will Jerrica be disappointed because Rio Pacheco loves her alter-ego Jem more? Oh the drama!

What's more, if Nintendo manages to get the online infrastructure of the Wii up and running, imagine multiplayer in a game like this. Rock Band anyone?

Futuristic Weaponry and Feral Instincts

The 80's definitely wasn't short on 12-year-old, bot-oriented action cartoons. Given that the 12-year-old kids of yesteryear are probably old enough now to spend 600 bucks, old-school action cartoons like M.A.S.K., Sky Commanders, and ThunderCats, would make great action games for the PS3.

Mask and Sky Commanders could adopt Grand Theft Auto's free roaming, mission-based sandbox gameplay, only this time add in amazing physics provided by the Cell Processor.

Moreover, since both cartoons involve alternate weaponry and odd means of vehicular travel, SIXAXIS controls would be great. Imagine having to pilot one of those transforming vehicles using the SIXAXIS tilt-sense? Imagine having to jump Laser Cables and having to balance Laser Cable travel?

The ThunderCats setting would definitely make for a great Musou-styled game. Perhaps even a polished-up (less gameplay hijinks) Ninety Nine Nights-styled campaign, where you can select a ThunderCat and finish the game using that ThunderCat, then restart the game using a different Thundercat and get a different perspective on the story; hopefully this time (this is something that Ninety-Nine Nights failed to do), you get very different gameplay.

Rainbow Colors and Connecting Robots

What does Rainbow Brite, Mighty Orbots, and Voltron have in common? They're nice, bright, and colorful. Given that the Xbox 360 is often wrongfully accused of not having family-friendly content (ViVa Piñata people!), nice bright and colorful action involving Rainbow Brite, the Voltron Force, and those Mighty Orbots will definitely be welcome.

Some of you guys are probably saying that Voltron isn't as nice and happy as Rainbow Brite, but Rainbow Brite isn't that ditsy either. It's all a matter of presentation really. Just look at this short snippet I got from Wikipedia that talks about Rainbow Brite's back-story:

"In the franchise's back-story, a little orphan girl named Wisp is taken by a Sphere of Light to a land without color."

That sounds like the premise for any of the many "serious" fantasy novels out there.

Moreover, Voltron's been cut to death anyway, all the bloody violence, and murder, and whatnot have been cut out of the version that I saw on TV, so Voltron could be a relatively light G-rated action game.

Why the Xbox 360? Ill I'm just thinking that games featuring episodic content would be nice for these shows: Download the next mission for the Voltron Force next week! Only on Xbox Live.

The Big Names

What?! An 80's nostalgia romp and no mention of GI JOE and the Transformers (the toon not the Michael Bay monstrosity)? Fine, fine. I'm going to try and think up games for them. I'm a bit reluctant about thinking up games for both titles though, because each has had a number of console games before.

Most of the previous games for the 80s toons or platformers. I'm thinking about taking the both franchises in new directions. I say allow the fans to create their own Transformer or their own GI JOE!

I'm thinking that these games would make nice MMORPGs. Given that most character-creation engines in MMOs are attribute-based, and each Joe and Transformer seems to be a nice mix/match of attributes and skills, an MMORPG would be great for these shows. Moreover, each show features two major opposing factions. Cobra, the JOE's, Autobots, and Decepticons just scream Alliance and Horde to some of us.

Also, now that some MMOs like Hellgate: London and Tabula Rasa are starting to mix in some FPS elements, making MMOs for either show seems very do-able. After all, both shows involve a lot of blaster fire.

Okay, so that's at least one 80s game for each platform already. This rant is just about done. But, before I go, I'll leave you with something that causes a lot of people to cover up in shame.

The 80s character that really, really needs a game.

Whatever happened to Captain N: The Game Master? Yeah, I know, he came out in 1989 so that makes him a borderline 80s character, but still. He trumps everyone in the product promotion category. Armed with a magical Light-gun (the Zapper) and a NES controller (the Power-Pad) filled with Nintendo Power, Kevin Keene, and his painful-to-the-eyes yellow shirt, was the Ninty fanboy ideal.

He needs an upgrade. He needs a Wii make-over. He also needs a new game. Why? Why not? Nintendo characters regularly cross over in Smash Bros, why not in a Captain N game?

Hey Nintendo! Bring back Captain N!

Memorable Videogame Myths

2007-08-14T07:45:00.000-07:00

In the dark early days of the Internet, when BBS and gaming magazines made of combustible paper still ruled supreme, videogame myths enjoyed a healthier existence.

What videogame myths you ask? Ever heard from a friend of a friend that he had a friend who was able to play Leisure Suit Larry 4? Remember the rumors of the existence of the notorious Cow Level in Diablo I, before the the existence of cows in Diablo II? Yeah folks, videogame myths - rumors that have passed from mouth to mouth and are now part of gaming lore.

What follows are infamous videogame myths that come to mind. The first three are old ones - and legendary ones at that. The last game is a bit more contemporary and stands as an example of how quickly videogame myths get busted now-a-days.

Finding Schala

Schala is the older sister of the character Magus (Janus) in Squaresoft's 16-bit RPG classic, Chrono Trigger. During the course of the game, Schala chooses to sacrifice her life to save the heroes of the game from a grim fate. By the end of the game, (well, in most of the many endings of the game) the optional character Magus leaves the party to try and find Schala.

Apparently such is the attachment of fans to this 16 bit lady, that rumors emerged that you can embark on a side quest to go find Schala. A lot of true believers are quick to cite one of the side quest hints given to you by a character in the game, the Guru of Time. It says: "One of you is close to someone who needs help... Find this person... fast." Many assume that this refers to Schala.

Rumors spread that this final quest was removed in the final print of the game, or that hacked versions of the game existed where you'll be able to find schala. The fact that Chrono Trigger had multiple endings only added fuel to the rumor inferno.

The fans were thankful though, that Schala's disappearance was eventually addressed in the Japanese only Radical Dreamers, and then ultimately in the PS1 sequel Chrono Cross.

However, conspiracy theorists are still attached to this issue - mostly because some fans point out that Schala's hair is blonde in Chrono Cross and not the known blue in her Chrono Trigger incarnation.

They speculate that perhaps something is not fully explained or whatnot.

Reviving Aeris Gainsborough

Yep, another Square game, another dead/lost character. Sigh... Attachment apparently fuels delusion/hope/denial.

The rumor maintained that in some versions of Final Fantasy VII, Aeris could be resurrected. Some maintained that she was actually meant to be resurrected but the option was not implemented or was dropped during later stages of game development. This belief flew blindly against claims from the game's production staff that this was not the case, and that Aeris' death was always intended and was meant to capitalize on the cliche of heroic sacrifice.

To this date there is no found in-game method of resurrecting Aeris, nor is there a discovered alternate ending to the game. Yes, multiple cheats do exist to resurrect the last of the ancients, but most lead to errors and glitches.

Such is the infamy of this supposed resurrection, that a rumored scene is referenced near the end of the Final Fantasy movie expansion, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children.

It is said that, if a player backtracks to the church in the Midgar slums, a "spirit" of Aeris can be seen in the church tending flowers. However, if you approach the sprite, it will vanish. Wikipedia informs me that this can be seen at anytime from the addition of Aerith to the party onwards.

The rumor is that this is an Easter egg by the developers. Some contend though that this is just likely a glitch. Still, the scene can be observed towards the ending of Final Fantasy VII, when Cloud was in the Lifestream-saturated waters underneath Aeris' church. He glances up to catch a split second ghostly appearance of Aerith and Zack.

Sorry fans, whether they meant that "glitch" or not, the lady is dead. Moreover, given the events that happened in Advent Children, she will likely stay dead, even if Square Enix does (I hope) decide to cash-in on a remake of Final Fantasy VII.

Fighting Sheng Long

Sheng Long came to exist mostly due to the bad English localization of the arcade version of Street Fighter II. Whenever Ryu won he said the following lines: "You must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance." Players of course, thought that Sheng Long was the supposed master of the "Dudley Boys of Street Fighter", Ryu and Ken.

Some console versions eventually changed that translation to "You must defeat my Dragon Punch to stand a chance" but still referred to Sheng Long as the master of Ryu and Ken. The thing is Sheng Long never existed. At all. "Sheng Long" was a bad translation of Ryu's "Shoryuken."

The reason why Sheng Long persisted in the minds of hopeful gamers though, is due to an April Fools joke that Electronic Gaming Magazine (EGM) ran in 1992. A fake reporter, named W.A. Stokins (waste tokens), reported that if Ryu did not suffer any damage during the game - and then once Ryu reaches M. Bison's stage and causes the game to end in a perfect draw (no damage to each combatant) - and then have the process was repeated for ten consecutive fights with Bison (hence the token wastage), Sheng Long will come out and beat the bejesus out of Bison and challenge you to a "fight to the death."

Capcom, those wise-ass corporate schmucks, increased Street Fighter II token consumption and popularity by neither confirming or denying the existence of Sheng Long. It is believed that the Sheng Long joke inspired Akuma, an assertion that has neither been denied nor confirmed by Capcom. Those shady creeps. Smart of them.

Sheng Long got a revival on EGM when Street Fighter III came out. They were slightly more revealing about it being a gag though.

An alternate ending to Shadow of the Colossus

After you defeat the 16th Colossus, the sorcerer Grandis Supernus Malus, interesting events occur. Without being a bit too spoiler-ish, let's just say that Wander got a taste of how it is to be a colossus. Anyway, the ending sequences offered enough limited freedom to cause gamers to start thinking that perhaps things could be done to unlock an alternate ending.

Several investigative folk (Ryu Sinclair and David Rodoy) over at GameFaqs have countered this speculation in their Shadow of the Colossus Plot Theory Analysis, by stating that there is no alternate ending. You can't do what you think you could do, and whatever round-about solution you can come up with, it won't work.

Despite the FAQs assertions, I know a lot of folks who are still trying, and consequently, still failing ...miserably.

Of course, given the odd construction of Shadow of the Colossus' story, there's a lot more stuff for folks to speculate, and theorize about other than the existence of an alternate ending.

Oh well, so much for that...
Having said all this, videogame myths prove, if anything, that videogames are powerful enough to move minds and wrench people's guts. So much so that they go into denial, and hope or wish that certain things were possible.

Some games just cause people to end up screaming: "That's that? There's got to be more! I should be able to do more! I could change this right? This has to be possible. Please tell me this has to be possible! Nuuuuuu~~~~"

You know what? Perhaps the ability to move people in such a manner should be one of the foremost means by which we judge if a game is good enough. I mean, that's what others do for other media, right? But nah, that's just probably me being a bit too hopeful. After all, it's the next-gen -what matters to most are the polygon counts, the framerates, the AI actions, the shaders, the bloom filters, and the HD resolutions (1080p/i/insert-whatever-here).